Then again, I’m an author. So I’m never really retired, just able to devote more time to this thing I love. I know people who quit working at a much younger age, and I know plenty who will continue working, either by choice or necessity.
When I walked away from the lucrative job I had as a fraud investigator, I did so because the job, the toxic environment in which I worked, threatened my health. For the next three years, I did not work outside the home. But I tried. I looked for work. I was able to see how much the employment landscape had changed. Back in the 80s, I would revise my resume and send it out with a well-written cover letter to the head of personnel at a company. Ha! Five years ago, I applied online for a variety of jobs, trying to hide the fact that I was over 50, but I knew that whoever or whatever program sorted out applications, mine was likely tossed early.
Then I had an interview with HopeHealth (formerly known as Home and Hospice Care of Rhode Island). Here was an agency that actually valued experience! Here was a place that understood what I could offer. I worked part-time for Hospice from June 2014 until yesterday. I worked at the front desk in the Philip Hulitar Hospice Center in Providence, where old friends and colleagues were admitted at the end of their lives. I assisted in Medical Records, ensuring a patient’s file was complete. I helped out in Quality Control, doing tasks that added to the agency’s compliance with so many federal and state guidelines. All through it, I worked with smart, professional, dedicated people who truly put others before themselves. The years I spent working for Hospice helped to erase the bitter memories of my previous job.
And now it’s done. I’m 60 years old, which to some of you might seem young for retirement. But my time at Hospice has taught me that life can change in an instant. Sometimes circumstances dictate that we keep working, past the time we’d like to have stopped. My husband and I saved aggressively while we worked full-time, and we don’t live large. I don’t know how many years I have left on this earth – thirty? Eighteen? Three? My goal is to keep writing novels, cherishing a day at the ocean, a cup of coffee, the sound of my old dog snoring.
The focus shifted, rightfully, away from us this week. We honored my husband’s father (above) with the military funeral he deserved, and I know that he’s now at peace, after years of living with a cruel disease.
Apart from the viewing, the Mass, and the burial, there was work to do at his house. And that work continues. He clung to his independence, living alone in the same house he’d lived in since 1972. There were memories in that house. And lots of stuff.
Look, it happens. It would have upset him more if we’d started cleaning out the excess while he was still alive. So we have our work cut out for us. Clothes, shoes, blankets, linens. Books, DVDs, CDs. Food. Furniture. And so many photos. Donate, keep, or discard. I’m mindful that there’s a lot of emotion right now, so if my husband insists on carting a few things back into our house, I’m keeping my mouth shut. ❤️
And they did. The malignant melanoma on the back of my thigh was excised yesterday afternoon.
It was no bigger than a nickel. Discovered three weeks ago during my first-ever total body scan, I received a few shots of Lidocaine, then a shaved sample was removed for biopsy.
The results came back the following Friday – cancerous. The spot that never scabbed over and continued to weep had to come out. My appointment was scheduled for Wednesday the 23rd, just shy of three weeks from the initial assessment.
I don’t know why, but I always thought of skin cancer as a ‘lesser’ cancer. Breast cancer is bad. Colon, pancreatic, ovarian, liver, lung – all really bad. Very scary. Why did I think of skin cancer differently? Is it because I could see it? (Well, not this one, on the back of my thigh). Would a nickel-size spot on my mammogram have me as calm? On my lung? I know in my heart I’d have been panicked.
And that’s not to say I wasn’t worried. Two Valium an hour beforehand did little to allay my anxiety. The procedure was over in about an hour. The lidocaine lasted into the evening. I slept last night without any sleep aids.
Today it hurts. I’m taking Tylenol, extra-strength, and resting at home. I’m very much aware that there was trauma. And I am leaving the bandage on for now.
Is all of this TMI? I’m a relatively private person (and here I am, showing you a picture of my thigh!). I guess I just want you to get your checkups. I don’t think this is the last of my skin issues. But I plan to be diligent. Be like Martha, at least in this. ❤️❤️❤️
Living minimally doesn’t always mean donating/recycling/tossing out things. I’m still purging (bags of shredded paper mostly), but this week I’ve been focused on health issues, and thinking about other ways to clear out the clutter.
I’ve pared down my email by unsubscribing to many newsletters and websites. It was all too much! I was receiving as many as 140 emails a day – recipes, health tips, political articles. I’ve deleted a lot of them. I still follow plenty of blogs, but I’ve changed the delivery of most of them to Saturday morning, when I don’t mind taking the extra time to catch up.
Late last year, I cut my Facebook friends list by about two-thirds. It was right after the election, and I had serious doubts about even continuing with Facebook. I decided to keep my author page active, but cut down on the number of connections on my personal page. There were some hurt feelings, which was never my intent, and I reclaimed as friends those who reached out to me. Social media has helped me find new readers. It’s enabled me, the introvert, to be social in a way that’s not anxiety-producing. But I try to limit myself to morning and evening – an hour or so at the beginning and the end of the day. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram – it’s enough.
Think back to a time before social media. We kept in touch with friends by calling, writing, getting together. We certainly didn’t call our friends several times a day to
Tell them what we ate for breakfast
Describe what we were wearing that day
Let them know we were tired
Tell them what we ate for lunch
Moan about traffic
Tell them which restaurant we were in for dinner (and what we ordered)
I’m guilty, too. But I’m trying to be more mindful, trying not to clutter your feed with meaningless posts. In the end, each of us chooses what will bring us joy, inspiration, laughter.
See this big jar? Well, I bought it for snacks. As we move into the season of fleece and carbs, I’d always have my big jar filled with salty, crunchy snacks – nuts and pretzel sticks and Chex mix and the occasional cheez ball. Crunch, crunch. Salty, good-for-nothing snacks. All winter long.
Only now that jar is filled with vegetable broth. Ha! Big difference, and I made it myself, based on Dr. Mark Hyman‘s recipe (with just one or two substitutions). Today I loaded my stockpot with kale, Swiss chard, radishes (and the greens), turnip, carrot, celery, onion, shiitake mushrooms, garlic, and ginger. Whew! Add plenty of filtered water, bring to a boil, and simmer for at least an hour. Then strain.
So here’s the plan. A cup of this crap elixir a couple of times a day instead of the usual fun stuff junk. I tried some already and it’s not bad. Not as bad as I expected. I could drink a cup of this broth two or three times a day.
Last week I wrote about salt and how much of it is in processed and restaurant food. For me, it was a real eye-opener. Some meals carry two to three times the normal daily recommended amount of sodium! Now, cutting out the salt is, pardon the pun, a piece of cake for me compared to getting rid of sugar. But I am really trying.
You’d probably be surprised to learn where sugar hides. February is Heart Health Month, and the American Heart Association recommends that men should not consume more than 9 teaspoons of sugar in a day. This measurement of sugar equals 45g of sugar per day for men. The recommended sugar intake for women is less than that of men. The AHA advises women to limit their intake of sugar to 6 teaspoons of sugar each day. This translates to a daily recommended limit of 30g of sugar.
So, 45g for men, 30g for women. Remember that. Now take a look at how much sugar is in some everyday foods:
Chobani peach fat-free yogurt (I’m not picking on Chobani, I’m just using it as an example). One 6-ounce container. 140 calories, no fat. 19g sugar. A little cup of yogurt and you’re nearly at your daily limit.
Dunkin’ Donuts small coffee with cream and sugar (their version): 120 calories, 6g of fat, 17g of sugar. Using a sugar substitute? See my note at the bottom.
Since breakfast did you in, you decide to have a salad for lunch, and even use the Hidden Valley fat-free ranch dressing you brought in from home. Look at the back label: the first four ingredients are water, corn syrup, maltodextrin, and sugar. Water, sugar, sugar, sugar. Two tablespoons of the dressing have 3g of sugar – can you limit yourself to 2T? Oh, and maltodextrin – what is it, exactly? According to Wikipedia, Maltodextrin is an oligosaccharide (right) that is used as a food additive. It is produced from starch and is usually found as a white spray-dried powder (yum). Maltodextrin is easily digestible, absorbed as rapidly as glucose, and is commonly used in sodas and candy. And, apparently, salad dressing.
Feeling a little tired in the afternoon? Have a Red Bull. One can provides 115 calories, no fat, and 26g of sugar. Or go sugar-free, but read my note at the end of this post.
You go out for dinner, because you had a hard day. Again, not picking on any place in particular, but let’s go to Outback Steakhouse. We’re going to share that famous blooming onion thing. Then you’ll have the Sweet Glazed Pork Tenderloin and a dressed baked potato. Total? Over 1,500 calories and about 23g of sugar. Oh, and by the way, the blooming onion serves six.
Now this likely isn’t a typical day, but if it were, you’d have consumed 88 grams of sugar, nearly three times the recommended amount if you’re a woman, twice if you’re a man. And what about kids? Teens? Coca-cola? More Red Bull? Whopper with cheese? Sugar everywhere.
NOTE (this information from the Dr. Oz website): About artificial sweeteners – New research shows that they may actually lead to weight gain, because they make the pancreas release insulin, an important hormone for accumulating body fat. Artificial sweeteners can cause you to go to the bathroom more often. They may cause the muscles in your bladder to become hyperactive – forcing you to urinate more frequently. Even one packet might be enough to cause you to urinate more frequently than normal. This can eventually wear out the bladder, increasing your risk for urinary tract infections and urge incontinence. Recent reports are also linking specific sugar substitutes you eat every day to major digestive problems including diarrhea, cramps, gas and bloating. They are specifically called sugar alcohols, which are calorie-reduced sugar substitutes that include sorbitol and malitol, which are found in “sugar-free” gums, candy and baked goods. As the sweet receptors in your esophagus and stomach are “tricked” by the zero-calorie substitutes, your pancreas is tricked into sending a false spike of insulin that can lead to insulin resistance. This can lead to diabetes. Also, since artificial sweeteners cause your body to crave more food, you can also put on weight, which further increases your risk for diabetes. In addition to diabetes, artificial sweeteners may be contributing to a nationwide epidemic of metabolic syndrome, which includes diabetes-inducing insulin resistance, high blood pressure, and too much fat around the waistline.