5×5 Things I’ve Learned

photo from www.cakespics.com
photo from http://www.cakespics.com

Some women never tell. And it’s impolite to ask. But all of my high school and college friends know, my family knows, and anyone who is familiar with Internet 101 can figure it out. I just can’t understand how it happened. Just yesterday I was 28. Here are some things I’ve learned over these many, many years:

  1. A tan isn’t worth it.
  2. Mortgage debt is okay; credit card debt is not.
  3. He leaves the seat up – big deal.
  4. Parents try to do their best, but they’re human.
  5. The first cup of coffee in the morning is the best.
  6. If there are eggs in the refrigerator, you can make dinner.
  7. People who leave mean, nasty reviews of a book will never use their real name.
  8. Stress can cause back pain.
  9. I’m glad I can remember back to when airplanes weren’t always full.
  10. Not everyone speaks English.
  11. Flossing matters.
  12. Sunrises and sunsets are free.
  13. A warm puppy will make you forget your bad day.
  14. There’s a lot more laundry in the summer.
  15. Carbs are better eaten in the morning.
  16. I couldn’t write a book if I didn’t read many books.
  17. Your girlfriend will always be your girlfriend.
  18. Old memories grow blurry, and that’s okay.
  19. After 50, trust me, something’s gonna give out.
  20. Stop at every lemonade stand possible and buy something.
  21. Old people are not invisible.
  22. Write down your family history now – your kids will care later.
  23. Your body will adjust to warmer temperatures – eventually.
  24. If you pay by credit card in a restaurant, make sure you tip in cash.
  25. I have everything I need.

And because it’s my birthday, I’ve discounted BOTH of my books to just a buck each for the digital version. Grab ’em this weekend if you haven’t read them yet, or give as a gift! Buy them HERE.

22 thoughts on “5×5 Things I’ve Learned

  1. “You say it’s your birthday…….going to a party, party”…………WAIT, WAIT, WAIT….the party is at 8 PM? Forget it ….bedtime…….ahhhhhhh!
    Happy Birthday Martha!


    1. Ha! Someday I’ll write about the birthday party I had when I turned eleven – all my friends were away on vacation and only my friend Anne-Marie came to my party (traumatized for life) 🙂 Thanks, though, love. xx


  2. Ok so I have to ask…24. Why a cash tip?
    I just figured out that number 8 is so true .
    And 17 is prob my fav……


    1. I figured you’d know all about #8, Laurea. Cash tip because the server gets to put it right in his/her pocket. When it’s added onto a credit card, sometimes the restaurant management will keep the credit card fee (up to 3%) or they won’t receive their tips until they receive their regular paycheck. And…in some smaller places, an unscrupulous owner may short the server (and if it’s a week or two later, how can it be proved?) I usually pay by card, but try to keep some cash on hand to pay the tip. 🙂


  3. Thank you for the $1.00 digital version of your books. That is so generous and kind of you, and I appreciate it. I look forward to reading them both. Happy Birthday!


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